My first experience - my colleague’s boyfriend got into trouble with the law (or as I was told) and had to raise money for bail. His sister was hospitalized due to heart attack and so they had to approach me instead. Promise was made to repay me within 2 weeks. But as it turned out, 2 weeks became 1 month.. and by third month, still no news from her. I subsequently realized that she went Bangkok for a shopping holiday. Gosh! Got money to go for holiday but none to pay me back first. In the end, it took me another 4 months of chasing to get the $1000 back from her.
My second experience was to another colleague, who promised to pay me back the following week. In the end, after waiting for 3 months, my calls were met with empty promises and escalated to call-rejections. I really blew my top, man!
I came to realize that while I agreed to part my hard-earned money to help my friends tie over their rough patches, it was met with undue stress and heartaches. I had lost the friendships because I was too disappointed with the manner I was treated. I refused to talk to them subsequently.
I have learned from these bad experiences that –unless you are willing to write off loans to friends, don’t lend. If you really have to, then you must be mentally prepared that your hard-earned money may never come back.
Very often, when such request comes, it is always a tricky situation. As such, it is up to you to assess how important is the friendship to you? Is it worth keeping? Have they tried and exhausted all other means, such as applying for unsecured credit loans from banks before approaching you? Or are they just taking you as an easy way out – interest free loans.
If you are lending, would you want to consider getting your friend to sign an IOU which spells out the loan quantum and repayment schedule? (while it may not be legally binding, at the very least, if he/she is willing to sign one, it probably shows a little more commitment to repay you back).
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