Marriage - Freehold vs Leasehold

I have always hear people talk about property - freehold vs leasehold.

And one often attach a higher value to freehold properties, for the simple reason that freehold properties last forever, while leasehold properties last only the remaining lease it has left.

I remember watching a documentary on TV about marriage a few years back. The topic was on why marriage don’t last long nowadays. Besides that, the documentary also discussed the increasing trend of older couples in their twilight years filling for divorce.

The common belief is that aged couples, having stayed together for so many decades, will stay together until death do them part. Hence I thought that was a very interesting phenomenon.

From the episode, the counselors shared that many older couples had been focusing too much on their children. As such, when their children grow up and start their own family, the older folks are left to face each other. That is when they start to realize that their spouses are like strangers to them because their attention for the past two decades, has always been on the children. Squabbles start to creep in, and over time, they found it increasingly hard to face each other everyday…


I have learnt from the documentary that especially for couples who have kids, it is important to find time to reconnect with your spouse. If you are both working, do find time to take half a day off for you to have meals together, catch a movie, or do anything that both of you enjoy. It really takes a conscientious effort especially when we have babies as the tendency is to focus (fully) on the little one. If the couple don’t work out eventually, do you think the little one will be happy?

As what the marriage counselor said,

“Your spouse is your freehold property, while your children are just twenty year leasehold property”. As such, where should your focus be?

I want to etch this statement in my memory so that I'll make sure I balance my attention and time properly between my spouse and children